Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
