ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
