I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
