hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize