You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
