Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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