is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
