there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
