I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
