Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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