I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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