So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
