so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
