I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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