You made me cry and you don't even care
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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