Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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