Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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