Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We don't watch enough power rangers
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
how drunk are you?
Several
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
