he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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