He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
