I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
