yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
