He is such a slut. More and more my type.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize