You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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