Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize