nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
