3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
