doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
