if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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