he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
