Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
