i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
