come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
