i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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