You're so nebulous sometimes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
