Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
