So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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