He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
