Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
