Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
