You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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