the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
