I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
