I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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