do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize