Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
