Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
