New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
