Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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