the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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