Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
