we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There r osticjed everywhere
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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