I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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