I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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