She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
