And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
