Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
