omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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