I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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