Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
