lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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