yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
