So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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