That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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