This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
