Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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